Older and Enjoying Life?

Older and Enjoying Life?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Nursing Homes and Nurturing

I did NOT start out to make this a diary of what difficulties I had with my Mom and Dad and THEIR aging! Apparently, that's what's on my mind and in my Blackberry these days, so that's what you'll hear from me right now.
I promised I would give some of the little roadblocks that I have run into so far...in hopes that YOU wouldn't have to encounter them unaware.
One thing...when you have a parent that has dementia...one of the first things to go is their memory, of course. Short term memory. They will ask you the same thing within two minutes and repeat themselves constantly. They also won't do baths or bathing unless forced. Clothes are something to be worn, taken off, then put back on the next day.
The next thing to go is control. Yep, it's DEPENDS time. Now, what happened to my mother is that she a) didn't like "those things" and b) wouldn't wear them unless forced. Consequentially, all the furniture (the really good kind, too...Daddy never skimped on quality) in their house got ruined (still is, but smells somewhat better since she's gone to the nursing home). You can try odor-out stuff, disinfectant, steam cleaning and all that, but some of the smell WILL remain.
Laundry is a daily activity. Now, remember...I don't live at their house. So, laundry must be done daily (or the smell is just...). In addition, the floors have to be watched closely.
Don't attempt to hire an agency for the babysitting chores. They just won't be the same as someone you know. Find someone fast. Someone you know or someone that knows someone. It's as simple as that.
Next, expect ridiculous statements, cutting up of prized possessions (don't understand this one, but Mom cut up all her blankets...just a cut running from one edge to the middle, then a square cut out of the middle. She also did this with a hand-made quilt from her mother), hiding of other prized possessions (especially the remote), hiding of dirty clothes in all sorts of places (WATCH THE OVEN), wrapping things up in toilet paper (loads of toilet paper wrapped around...oh...maybe a watch, a wedding ring, a piece of candy?), telling you they took a bath or changed clothes or went to the doctor or drove a car to the store earlier, and all sorts of fun things that you will laugh about LATER.
Keep a positive attitude. I will tell you some of my tips as well as some of the nursing home problems another day. SMILE...they took care of YOU, ya know?

3 comments:

groovyoldlady said...

Oh...Lord have mercy on you, Dear! My mom is eccentric (very) and my F-i-L is mildly forgetful (depending on how his meds pan out for the day) but so far we've not had to deal with true-blue dementia.

Please feel free to link to my Groovy blog here and on your Squidoo lens.

groovyoldlady said...

This so explains why my mom has tax statements and receipts from 2003 and knows exactly where they are located, but can't find the toilet paper...

Actually, our folks are doing pretty good in the memory department, so far, for the most part. It's MY memory I'm worried about!

Anonymous said...

Hmm i agree with your blog :0

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