Nursing Homes and Nurturing

I did NOT start out to make this a diary of what difficulties I had with my Mom and Dad and THEIR aging! Apparently, that's what's on my mind and in my Blackberry these days, so that's what you'll hear from me right now.
I promised I would give some of the little roadblocks that I have run into so far...in hopes that YOU wouldn't have to encounter them unaware.
One thing...when you have a parent that has dementia...one of the first things to go is their memory, of course. Short term memory. They will ask you the same thing within two minutes and repeat themselves constantly. They also won't do baths or bathing unless forced. Clothes are something to be worn, taken off, then put back on the next day.
The next thing to go is control. Yep, it's DEPENDS time. Now, what happened to my mother is that she a) didn't like "those things" and b) wouldn't wear them unless forced. Consequentially, all the furniture (the really good kind, too...Daddy never skimped on quality) in their house got ruined (still is, but smells somewhat better since she's gone to the nursing home). You can try odor-out stuff, disinfectant, steam cleaning and all that, but some of the smell WILL remain.
Laundry is a daily activity. Now, remember...I don't live at their house. So, laundry must be done daily (or the smell is just...). In addition, the floors have to be watched closely.
Don't attempt to hire an agency for the babysitting chores. They just won't be the same as someone you know. Find someone fast. Someone you know or someone that knows someone. It's as simple as that.
Next, expect ridiculous statements, cutting up of prized possessions (don't understand this one, but Mom cut up all her blankets...just a cut running from one edge to the middle, then a square cut out of the middle. She also did this with a hand-made quilt from her mother), hiding of other prized possessions (especially the remote), hiding of dirty clothes in all sorts of places (WATCH THE OVEN), wrapping things up in toilet paper (loads of toilet paper wrapped around...oh...maybe a watch, a wedding ring, a piece of candy?), telling you they took a bath or changed clothes or went to the doctor or drove a car to the store earlier, and all sorts of fun things that you will laugh about LATER.
Keep a positive attitude. I will tell you some of my tips as well as some of the nursing home problems another day. SMILE...they took care of YOU, ya know?

Time Marches On and so does our aging

I tell you, my my how time rushes away from us! Since I posted (has it been THAT long?), I have really been into LIFE HAPPENING! My mother...she was in the hospital with a little old minor kidney infection (a result of her having dementia, which is a WHOLE OTHER story). You might wonder why a simple kidney infection would put someone in the hospital. Well, Boomer reader, you have no idea what stuff like that can do to an older gal (or maybe you do). Mother, who is 88 years old, by the way, didn't take such good care of herself and ended up with this infection. Then, once she was over it, the doc put her in a nursing home. That is also another story. However, I am here to tell you...if there's ANY way that you can keep yourself or your loved ones out of a nursing home, do it. You do NOT want someone you love in a "skilled nursing center". My mother is in one of the best. I will post some of the challenges associated with that another time.
So, mom went BACK to the hospital, then to a specialty hospital. Then back to the nursing home. Have you seen a "specialty hospital"? It's really cool...less than a hospital, but with more individualized care. They don't do operations, but they have labs, etc. Great for a transition from hospital to nursing home. I loved Mother being there! Now she's in the nursing home again. I am trying to meet all her nurses and aides and such...just to make sure someone is checking on her and trying to make her more of a memorable (read "someone to care about and check up on") person to the staff. That's not always easy to do.
There's some pretty good tips here about how to pick nursing homes and skilled centers. Don't skimp on the homework! If you have been thinking that your loved one needs to go, be sure to read up on what the National Safety Council advises, too.
Suffice it to say...stay away from skilled nursing unless there's just NO other choice! I'm an "only kid", and was planning on Mom and Dad being at my house (didn't I say I had construction problems?), but now...Dad will just have to come on and visit me (he doesn't want to LIVE here) until I get the house addition finished. Daddy will get used to it if I start now having him come visit for a night or two here and there. Mom...well, the Doctors say she will never come home again...try telling her husband of 60+ years that information...another day.

A New Year

Is it just me, or does it seem like every year gets shorter? It seems like just a couple of weeks ago that I was trying to get out my fall decorations and wanted my house to be "all fall". Then, just a few minutes later, I decided not to get the Halloween stuff out in force this year, I just went and bought a few new things to make it "ghostly". Well, of course, ten minutes later I was planning for Thanksgiving and wished I HAD gotten all the Halloween stuff drug out of the attic so that I would have my Thanksgiving turkeys out, too. I in my infinite wisdom had packed it up all together last year to "make it easier"? Wow. How do people who work outside the home get this stuff done? I used to work a J.O.B., too, and I am certain I don't remember feeling this old and tired and pressed to "get it done"!
I mean, who wants to crawl around in an attic when it's dusty and freezing cold? I decided to just go get some new things...just a few. So, that's what I did. Had the whole family over and cooked for the crew, but now I was faced with another dilemma...with all the falling leaves and fat pumpkins throughout the house, how can I change it to Christmas without once again having to crawl around in the attic? I certainly don't want to go buy a bunch more Christmas stuff considering that the attic is bursting with decorations in every style and color, plus a bunch of inherited items that just "can't be thrown away".
I must not be very creative, because I just couldn't figure out how to make brown, green, orange pumpkins and turkeys look like Santa. I'm sure you know the next step...put all that stuff up and get out the myriad boxes of Christmas, but make sure you do it the very next day after the hardest cooking day of the year. Rest for the weary cook? Not.
Christmas lights, reindeer, sleighs, all the outdoor stuff...hubby got smart and had his electrical crew come over and install everything. Boy! Snap the fingers and it's done. Can he hire someone for ME? No? You mean I have to do all the inside stuff by myself? Wow. Ho ho ho, jingle, jingle...oh what fun it is.
All that tree-ing, sleigh-ing, Santa-ing. Yippee. Just dragging out a bunch of decorations that I will have to pack back up again in a short four weeks. UNFAIR! We ought to strike or something. They should change Halloween to September and Thanksgiving to the FIRST Thursday in November. That would at least give us another few weeks of Christmas to enjoy!
Does anyone agree? Christmas should last at least two months. Just not fair to those of us that have to do the baking, decorating, lighting, entertaining...and it seems that they shorten the season every year! Wow. Sure am glad I work from home. Not sure how I would have gotten all this done if I had a nine-to-five.